Sunday, April 17, 2011

Bed Time Stories

Ahhhh.... Finally. Something I can tell you all about that had me LOLing for a good minute! :p

Reese and I were laying in her bed, talking about whatever it was that she felt she needed to talk about, to stay up just a little bit longer. She brought up an old fish she use to have. 

"I really miss that blue fish. I know it's dead. I know it died. How did it die?" I just shrugged my shoulders hoping we didn't have to have the dead pets talk we have often at bed time, that ends with both us crying about Oliver. ANYHOO...I kinda killed the mood with that let me start over...

"I really miss that blue fish. I know it's dead. I know it died. How did it die?" I gave her the I really don't know look. She thought for a moment then said "Maybe he hit his head? [pause for thought] Maybe he just stopped moving his tail?" Then a slight smerk comes over her face, trying not to laugh she says "Maybe he hit rockbottom?" 

Monday, February 21, 2011

Reese has opened a restaurant!

Reesie's Fancy Pants Restaurant Menu

(Price: 5 $90 dollars and 895 cents except for crusty dogs)
Squash with Banana peels
Crushed Chicken
Crushed Bird
Oiled Fish
Crusty Bendy Rice Chicken
Riced Duck
Potatoes (Dirty)
Crusted Hay
Spotted Chicken
Crusty Dogs $99

Whipped Cream w/ Cookies *Free* 
Crushed Banana's with Yogurt $99.99 555Dollars

Fresh Tea w/ ice $99 & cents
Add $20 for NO ice.
Cacka Cola $99.99

All menu items are solely made by Chef Reese Phoenix Hunter. They are all original ideas, and should not be copied. Prices are nonnegotiable. 

Monday, February 14, 2011

Smooth Criminal

What a weekend of Reeseisms. 
Saturday we went to a restaurant the conveniently has a playground in it. I love Katz. They have pretty good food and the kids play for free...with a kids meal of course. When we left Reese was able to pick a little chotchkie toy. She chose a sticky gooey thingy. Which if course if it hits the ground (it always does within the first 2 seconds) it gets all dirty and nasty. FUN!! Anywhoo....we were on our way home and she had wrapped it around her wrists. Mommy! I am very sorry to tell you that I have become arrested! Why on earth are you arrested Reese...what did you do?? I asked. WELLLLLLL.....I pushed a car. That doesn't seem like something you could get arrested for Reesie. Especially if you were helping someone. NO! I pushed a car then I chopped it up into little pieces...and it wasn't even my car! I'm going to jail now. Perfect! My 4yr old is going to get 5 yrs for grand theft.

Continuing her criminal ways-
Sunday she made a threat to her Mimi. We had just gotten back from Target. She knew we had bought her something for Valentines day but she couldn't see it. Sometimes Mimi can be a push over (of course..she is a Mimi) and I think Reese believes she can SCARE Mimi into telling her things. So Reesie goes up to her and says "You better tell me what I got for Valentines day or I am going to tell EVERYONE that you took dancing lesson from Justin Beaver." OH LORD!! If I was Mimi I would have told her right then and there what she got for Valentines day. I wouldn't want anyone knowing I took dancing lessons from Justin Beaver.

And of course criminals like to party-
While we are at Target I receive a text from Cory. This is what it said.

Reese just sang "fookin like a party, fookin like a party don't stop!!!"

I am sure Cory had a really confused look on his face. Then she explained...."That's Japanese" OH! Ok Since its Japanese that makes total sense!

(BTW- We do not use the F-word in front of her. I am waiting to hear the song was trying to imitate!)

Happy V-Day!

Saturday, February 12, 2011


This is my first blog post EVER!! I am rather excited about it. I have to live this kid named Reese who spouts out the most hilarious versions of life I have ever heard. I hope you find them just as funny...sometimes weird...sometimes scary...but mostly funny.  Reese also has a sister, Zaylee, who I find just as funny. I assume that by the time she is able to speak she will follow in her sisters footsteps with ridiculously funny/weird/scary/wtf? versions of her world. 

Please enjoy. I also plan to make a place for you all to share your stories about the midgets in your life. :)

May the forces be with you.

I am a very sarcastic person. So PLEASE do not take everything I say seriously.